Lost in translation...bestest Eenglish

Living abroad, one has many opportunities to see bestest English everywhere. We are constantly amused at the lengths which people go to in order to dazzle us with their English skills. I (Aaron) feel that I can write this since I often speak Hindi as well as they speak and write English- I often have children smiling at my mistakes, not to mention the adults.

I just wanted to take a moment to share a few of the rather amusing things which we have seen recently (just within the past two months). I will try to take more pictures as I see things so that I may share my delightful experiences with all of you.

In order to get the full experience, remember that you can click on the picture to easily read (with delight) what is written.

Here is something you do not see everywhere. For those times when your little one looks at you and says "Papa, its Miller time!". The writer intended to say "chilled" rather than "child". The Hindi writing above it says "English Alcohol Store".


Here is something that all young ladies want for their beau...something to make them look less ugly. Melanie bought me three outfits.


Here is a school we are looking at as a strong possibility of where Josiah will NOT be going for his education. I realize that it will "turn your child smarter" and it "make maths as fun" (fun as what?)" but I just think that I will have to say we are not interested. Apparently they figure that everything will be all right since H.Q. NEWYORK (USA) is watching from a distance...a very great distance- too far to proofread their sign.


We were fortunate enough to stay in a wonderful guesthouse in Jaisalmer. The biggest relief was that the toilet paper was "Shammerlised for extra soft". Keep that in mind the next time you are looking for a place to stay.


Here is a picture I took at the Taj Mahal. One is supposed to take off their shoes before entering a temple or mosque. The problem is that I did not know which sign to obey...I was so confused...what to do!


Here is a sign we drive past on our way to Bikaner. We keep looking for "Silow Dawn" but so far we have not seen it.


We were watching a movie from the local video store the other day. As with all available movies, they have been copied, dubbed and subtitled a number of times. The quality if not very good but how else could they get six movies onto one DVD? The movie we were watching was in English and had English subtitles which could not be turned off. The subtitles did not quite match the speaking or the informational text. As you can see in the picture, there was something lost in translation.


The other day we were in "The American Dollar Store" where everything is only 99 rupees (approx $2.50). So much for a "Dollar" store. Anyway, we were looking around and I found this awesome package. I quickly picked it up read the entire package and ran as fast as I could to the checkout counter with the newly treasured item. Now being a total cheepskate, I had to find it either useful or amazingly amusing in order to spend so many rupees. I was relieved when they told me that it came with a free cake...talk about getting your moneys worth!!!
With the "Geak Instant" kit I received not only glasses, handsome teeth and a bow tie but also a laugh that was worth the 99 rupees (plus the free cake).

Now lets look closer...what is a "Geak"? Well according to every dictionary (slang included) there is no such word. I believe they were trying to say "Geek" which would also account for the mighty handsome man in the picture. Placing "Instant" after Geak was probably not for emphasis but a mistake. So my interpretation of this would be that this lovely package will make you look like a geek instantly. Therefore "Instant Geek" would probably have been more appropriate (not to mention correct).

As I further perused the package, I noticed a small square (just left of the teeth) which stated "EACH KIT OF TOOTH THING OF THE BIG IN SIMPLETON." Perhaps this is a jumble for you as a "Geak Instant" to amuse your friends with. I still have not figured the meaning out, but in all fairness I have not tried the entire contents of the package on. Perhaps it will give me the Geak simpleton powers needed to decipher the code within the seemingly meaningless phrase.

I was further delighted when I turned the package over...

and read the following:

Important information of the product:

Dasini MAKEUP can use for every occasion (Disco, Vocal concert) sports events (football team, baseball team) and other feast day (All Saints Day, Dionysia, Easter Sunday) soiree, it will give you create the infinite vital force, there are colors to suit pretty well every time, have a lot of fun for you and your friends. Get creativity with this fun makeup--your designs can be as simpLe or intricate as you like! Exert your creativity, creat inDiVidual designs! Everything you need to create yourself.

This is great! I have been looking for what to wear to the local cricket games, feast days (especially when vititing the Dionysia Temple in ancient Greece!) and the occasional soirée. However, the greatest thing by far is that "it will give me create the infinite vital force". Now nobody will mess with me!

After graduation, I am thinking of returning here as a proofreader or subtitle writer but that will be at least an anus later...